Saturday, February 5, 2011

Early Morning Musings

My son woke up at 5 am this morning.

He has been potty trained since shortly after his 2nd birthday in May, but has only just recently begun sleeping without a pull up on. Needless to say we had an accident and he didn't feel the need to go back to sleep.

For a few precious minutes though, he was quiet, and I found myself in that ethereal place where no one else is awake and all is quiet.

It's peaceful in a way that I don't often find anymore since I had my son. I can't help feeling that even the rare moments of quiet are fleeting, now that baby number two is on it's way. I reveled in it this morning; wrapped it around myself and just breathed.

I'm so blessed. I have a wonderful husband and was gifted my incredible son; even if he does wake up before the sun. I now am pregnant with another child, granted one that I had to work a little harder for, but I thank God everyday that he gave me another child to grow and nurture and love.

Don't get me wrong, I have these thoughts when it's chaotic and noisy; when I'm irritated or lonely. It's just easier to hear them at that perfect moment in the dark, just laying next to my husband listening to him breathe; it's magic.

My third and final beta came back yesterday at 675, almost triple what it was on Wednesday. I have my first ultrasound at just about 6 weeks on Friday the 11th! I can't wait to see my little miracle for the first time!

I finally feel like I can breathe, like I can stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm pregnant. I've waited so long to say those words again! I know that I haven't waited as long as some but 2 years is a lifetime to me!

Nausea is starting to kick in, the cramping has been completely gone for about 5 days now and I feel good. I feel pregnant.

This post seems a little scattered, and for that I apologize. I've been musing a lot the last week on how wonderful my life is and how lucky I am to be living it. Makes me sappy I suppose.

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come from getting something we don't have, but rather recognizing and appreciating what we do have." Frederick Keonig

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