Birthday Wishes and Baby Kisses

Today is my mother's birthday! Being the good daughter that I am I will not divulge of her actual age. She looks wonderful we'll leave it at that!

I want to start this post by saying: Happy Birthday Mommy!! I hope you have a wwonderful, happy day and I cannot wait to celebrate with you later (and not just because you got a truly delicious looking cookies and cream cake....although I won't lie that helps)! I wouldn't know what to do without you; you are my hero, my best friend and confidant and I can't imagine a better mother than you! I love you! <3 <3 <3

So......on Wednesday we have our first follie check at cd 12. I took the 150mg of clomid this cycle and I have to say, I don't know if it was because I am making a conscious effort not to be a raging clomid-bitch but this cycle hasn't been bad at all. Don't get me wrong the hotflashes and headaches make me want to move to Alaska and join Sarah freaking Palin in a snowstorm to cool off but that's about it. No crazy mood swings, no monster arguments.

We seem to feel totally relaxed this time. I haven't taken any OPKs or my temperature; we are not allowed any "babydancing" after the 13th but we have actual made love a couple of times because we *gasp* wanted to. It was fantastic.

I do feel a little stressed about the follie check; I recently had a dear, sweet friend find out that she had no follicles growing after taking 100mg of clomid. It's devastating. I would really like to see 4 or 5 good follies and I'm really hoping that we get to trigger on Friday so I can have the added certainty of 1) ovulation and 2) that all the mature eggs came out. The RE told me that even if I ovulated before we could trigger that I would get the shot anyway to help sustain any possible pregnancy. I just would feel so much better if we used it to induce ovulation and the sustainability was a happy by product!

I feel good. Better than I have in months. I really hope that this our month. We'll find out right before the New Year.

I've read that hope can be the surest and fastest way to kill oneself. I'm usually prone to agree with that.

Right now, hope is a bright and shiny dream that I wish I would never wake from. To sleep contentedly adrift in a perfect world of wishes and love and nothing but good intentions.

"The road to hell was paved with good intentions." I, however, as of right now; am enjoying the hell outta the ride.

Happy Birthday Mom!!